I just watched episode three of Ichi Rittoru no Namida. Boy, was it sad. Though I haven't cried watching the drama yet, seeing the situation placed right in front of me really caused me to think about my future as a doctor. As a doctor, it is inevitable to relay the bad news to the patient. It's like you're the harbinger of bad news, and this is never pleasant, neither for yourself, the patient or the patient's family. This episode made me rethink about the reason why I want to be a doctor. Sure, I told myself ten years ago that I would become a doctor to save lives, because I didn't like the feeling of death at all. My favourite uncle, who was as close as a father to me, passed away due to nose cancer, and that feeling when the news hit me was extremely painful, even though I was just 8 years old then. Since then, I really dreaded and feared that people around me would just disappear like that.

But now after watching this episode, I wonder whether I'll really be able to be present while sharing the bad news to the patient and his/her family. Yet at the back of my head it tells me I should persevere and help others as much as possible, so they won't have to go through the pain of losing a loved one just so suddenly, even if it means that I myself suffer some pain. Confused as I am now, I guess I'll have to trust in the Lord, for He is the Healer of all Healers.

Father, please guide me and show me the path to my future, for Your ways are higher than mine, as the Heavens are higher than the Earth.



I do have one more thought though, isn't it ironic that doctors are harbingers of bad news when they exist to save people?

Labels: Life, Musings

|| posted by Kuan Hui