You know, it's really odd to read and hear stories of people suffering and slogging it out in NS, while I am in a totally different world. It's like people experiences just jump out to me, and I want to feel those experiences, those feelings of wanting to give up in the middle of tough trainings, those feelings of buddies looking out for each other and pushing each other on, the low morale when you book in, knowing that there's a tough week ahead of you, and the high morale when you book out. Sure, these feelings may not be the nicest at times, because they're very mentally testing, some would even call it mental torture. At where I am now, I experience things totally different. It's a hectic working life, where I go to work everyday, trying to complete task after task just so that things can move on smoothly at where I work. Looking back at the past 4 months I've been here, it's already been one hell of a ride. The scope of things I do is really wide, and I can proudly say I've learned many things which I otherwise wouldn't have learnt if I was somewhere else. But because I learn these things, I will never get to experience comradeship and going though tough times together. In fact, I'm all alone at where I am now. Talking to people who are about 2 to 3 times your age everyday isn't something I have experienced just a mere 4 months ago. And of course, even if you can talk to them, the things that you talk about are totally different from things that I would talk about say to someone around my age, or even a close friend.

I say, there's a certain amount of solitude where I am now, I don't have people of my age going through the same thing telling me, a little more and this task will be done. No, I'm fending for myself in the real world, and it seems like in the span of 4 months, I'm already forced to grow up as quickly as possible (no wonder I think I start to see some tiny wrinkles at my eyebags).

I don't think anyone who hasn't experienced what I go through now should say anything about my job and the things I do. That's just hasty judgement and comparisons between his vocation and inaccurate assumptions about my job.

It's not always an easy thing to be alone, that's probably why the feeling of buddies looking out for you is more sweet than bitter.

Labels: Life, Musings

|| posted by Kuan Hui