It's been about two weeks since the final interview with Orica, ZY got his reply last week and went to sign his contract on Wednesday. So as much as everyone is telling me that I still have a chance, including ZY who told me that they have likely not finalised things yet. I think it is more prudent for me to move on given the circumstances. Yes, I am bummed out by the result, very disappointed at my performance in the final interview, and reflective upon my lack of achievements and ability. No doubt I am not good enough for the job. My thought processes are messy, my speech and articulation is poor, I did not put in all my heart into it.

Nonetheless, it is painful that I have to give this job up and settle for something less prestigious. Ultimately, I still hanker after prestige and money. And this worldly thinking is a reflection of the love I have for God and how little my faith is in Him. It is a sobering reminder of my ineptitude and the undeservedness of my being to being saved by Him. And yet as I type this I still feel a tinge of regret in not getting this seemingly more prestigious job. I need to reinforce my focus onto Jesus, and learn not to hanker and desire so much of the things of this world. || posted by Kuan Hui