Sunday, December 21, 2014
I am entering into another season of learning. To me, this issue of humility has been an issue that has stuck with me for a very long time, and this has been something I want to change within me but I am unable to grasp the nuances of how to change.
I am not a humble person. Although I would like to say that my ego has mellowed over the years, and I now have a more realistic sense of where I stand in the world, I still think myself superior in many instances and occasions. Even now, I tend to speak to some people as if I know more things or have better knowledge over a particular subject that others don’t. There are two presumptions I am making here:
1. I am presuming that I know more than the other person when I in fact have no idea how much the person knows or understands.
2. I am presuming that because I know more, therefore I am in a superior or more enlightened position than the other person.
My behaviour is ugly. Just because I think I know more does not give me the right to put myself in a higher position than others. Towards Christina, someone older than me by close to 20 years, I presumed that I knew more than her. Towards Bernard, I presumed that I had superior knowledge over him just because he does not speak so deeply on a particular subject matter. And so what if he has less knowledge? It does not make him have a lower intellectual capacity. It does not mean that more knowledge means I am in a better position. At the end of the day, we are all but sinners who know next to nothing when compared to the infinite knowledge, power, and glory of God. All of us, without exception, have to stand before God at the Great White Throne one day where we will be judged. Judged not by knowledge, but by our faith in Him. So why am I considering myself superior when I have more knowledge and experience over others when God does not even judge us by a hint of that same measure?
I believe God is trying to tell me something through the words and messages spoken to me over the past few weeks, and these messages have become more clarion in the recent days. For one, Youth Camp was on the topic, “What doth the LORD require of thee?” (Deuteronomy 10:12) And the simple answer was to fear Him, to walk in all His ways, to love Him, and to serve Him with all my heart and all my soul. In simple terms, it is obeying the ten commandments to love God with all my heart, and to love my neighbours as myself. It is understanding the divine majesty of God, that He has given our life as it is, and for a good reason no less. If he has given us everything that I have, then I ought to be grateful for it, for all my knowledge, my mental faculties, my family, my friends, my material possessions are given to me by Him as He knows what is the best for me. So what right do I have to be discontent with what I have? What right do I have to judge others based on their knowledge and experience, when ALL is given by our Lord and Master? It isn’t as if I earned them purely out of my own effort, of course not!
Today’s service also reflected the same message unto me. In Matthew 15:1-20, Jesus is telling us to examine our inner selves. Oftentimes, we think we are already doing well in God’s sight, unaware of the mistakes we are committing. Our outward actions cannot be different from our inner thoughts and desires. That would be hypocritical behaviour like the Pharisees. Our inward heart is sinful and evil; therefore we must always examine it honestly. We must ensure what we project outwardly, we also change inwardly. To me, this is a message telling me that my humility that I am practicing isn’t true. I might be trying to behave like I am humble outwards, but if I still have that ego inside of me, then I am only deceiving myself. This is a realisation that I have discovered, after stumbling on Micah 6:8. Have I really been walking humbly with God? Has my internal compass really shown to God that I am being humble?
Talking with brother William once again today has brought me back to this exact same message, which has prompted me to type this really long message as my personal reminder. ‘Humility is obedience to the truth’. And how fitting this phase is! A young child takes things at face value and easily believes things told to him or her. The child does it because he or she has no presumption that he or she is better or knows more. Instead, the child is a learner, and is gladly obedient to the parent (or adult) because he or she knows that what is taught is good and beneficial. This is why Jesus mentions that we require a child-like faith to enter unto the kingdom of God (Matthew 18:3). This is the understanding that we know so little, that there is no room for arrogance or haughtiness, but to be obedient to God’s truth by being humble like a little child who does not judge or presume.
This message has turned terribly long, but I might be grasping for once the true meaning of humility towards my friends, my family, and most importantly towards God. May this message serve as a reminder for me to stay humble, adopt a learning attitude, and honour and fear God. || posted by Kuan Hui
I am not a humble person. Although I would like to say that my ego has mellowed over the years, and I now have a more realistic sense of where I stand in the world, I still think myself superior in many instances and occasions. Even now, I tend to speak to some people as if I know more things or have better knowledge over a particular subject that others don’t. There are two presumptions I am making here:
1. I am presuming that I know more than the other person when I in fact have no idea how much the person knows or understands.
2. I am presuming that because I know more, therefore I am in a superior or more enlightened position than the other person.
My behaviour is ugly. Just because I think I know more does not give me the right to put myself in a higher position than others. Towards Christina, someone older than me by close to 20 years, I presumed that I knew more than her. Towards Bernard, I presumed that I had superior knowledge over him just because he does not speak so deeply on a particular subject matter. And so what if he has less knowledge? It does not make him have a lower intellectual capacity. It does not mean that more knowledge means I am in a better position. At the end of the day, we are all but sinners who know next to nothing when compared to the infinite knowledge, power, and glory of God. All of us, without exception, have to stand before God at the Great White Throne one day where we will be judged. Judged not by knowledge, but by our faith in Him. So why am I considering myself superior when I have more knowledge and experience over others when God does not even judge us by a hint of that same measure?
I believe God is trying to tell me something through the words and messages spoken to me over the past few weeks, and these messages have become more clarion in the recent days. For one, Youth Camp was on the topic, “What doth the LORD require of thee?” (Deuteronomy 10:12) And the simple answer was to fear Him, to walk in all His ways, to love Him, and to serve Him with all my heart and all my soul. In simple terms, it is obeying the ten commandments to love God with all my heart, and to love my neighbours as myself. It is understanding the divine majesty of God, that He has given our life as it is, and for a good reason no less. If he has given us everything that I have, then I ought to be grateful for it, for all my knowledge, my mental faculties, my family, my friends, my material possessions are given to me by Him as He knows what is the best for me. So what right do I have to be discontent with what I have? What right do I have to judge others based on their knowledge and experience, when ALL is given by our Lord and Master? It isn’t as if I earned them purely out of my own effort, of course not!
Today’s service also reflected the same message unto me. In Matthew 15:1-20, Jesus is telling us to examine our inner selves. Oftentimes, we think we are already doing well in God’s sight, unaware of the mistakes we are committing. Our outward actions cannot be different from our inner thoughts and desires. That would be hypocritical behaviour like the Pharisees. Our inward heart is sinful and evil; therefore we must always examine it honestly. We must ensure what we project outwardly, we also change inwardly. To me, this is a message telling me that my humility that I am practicing isn’t true. I might be trying to behave like I am humble outwards, but if I still have that ego inside of me, then I am only deceiving myself. This is a realisation that I have discovered, after stumbling on Micah 6:8. Have I really been walking humbly with God? Has my internal compass really shown to God that I am being humble?
Talking with brother William once again today has brought me back to this exact same message, which has prompted me to type this really long message as my personal reminder. ‘Humility is obedience to the truth’. And how fitting this phase is! A young child takes things at face value and easily believes things told to him or her. The child does it because he or she has no presumption that he or she is better or knows more. Instead, the child is a learner, and is gladly obedient to the parent (or adult) because he or she knows that what is taught is good and beneficial. This is why Jesus mentions that we require a child-like faith to enter unto the kingdom of God (Matthew 18:3). This is the understanding that we know so little, that there is no room for arrogance or haughtiness, but to be obedient to God’s truth by being humble like a little child who does not judge or presume.
This message has turned terribly long, but I might be grasping for once the true meaning of humility towards my friends, my family, and most importantly towards God. May this message serve as a reminder for me to stay humble, adopt a learning attitude, and honour and fear God. || posted by Kuan Hui
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