It has been a lazy week for me, the kind where I cannot really pick myself up and do the things I am supposed to do. The amount of inertia in wanting to settle youth camp matters has been surprisingly great, and this could be because the team that I am with aren't the proactive kind who will bounce ideas or affirmation back when I ask a question or propose a suggestion. This leads quickly to a huge drop in my personal energy levels and I find it extremely hard to get it back up there to carry out tasks. I must be more mindful of how such interactions affect me and work towards plugging the energy leak from myself, lest my work gets affected too. On a positive note, things seem to be picking up, perhaps because of a growing sense of urgency towards matters that must be done, but they're starting to bug me already.

MW finally released all the emotions she had been feeling towards me. I am very grateful that we finally managed to get down to the root of the matter about how she is affecting me negatively and vice versa. It took a long time, but everything came out in the end, and now I can see the many things which I have done which irritates, annoys, and makes her feel sad. At the crux of this carthasis is really the understanding that we were communicating really poorly towards each other, missing out on what hurts us the most, and then just making matters worse because the build up of frustration was so significant it just boiled over. I have to thank Rudi for recommending to me the book on non-violent communication. I was poring through the book the past few days and understanding how things lead to poor understanding of others and cause arguments and poor relationships. Yes, most of the things are highly counter-intuitive to practice, but I believe having an awareness of it is a good first step in helping to build compassion and love for others. Linking back the concepts in the book to godly character, I think I am getting a small glimpse of how Jesus felt compassion during his earthly sojourn 2000 years ago.

Pastor is away in Japan, so Prayer Meeting today was led by Elder Siow, on the topic of prayer. What struck me the most today was really an example of how we should never neglect to pray for ourselves, as much as we should pray for others. An old man was bedridden and very sickly, so he asked his children to pray continually for him. One day, his daughter came up to him and asked him this question, "What happens to the relationship between a shopkeeper and his client if the shopkeeper always asks his assistant to talk to the client and close businesses with him?" The old man replied that the relationship will start to grow distant eventually, and the assistant would have the closer relationship to the client. "Isn't that what you're doing with God when you ask us to pray for you but you don't pray?" Likewise, as much as I should pray for others, I must not neglect my own personal relationship with God, and always remember to build it. For He is my Father, and which Father does not hear His child's pleas and cries for help, especially when the child is weak and ill? The Father will surely show extra concern and have ears ready to listen to even the slightest whimper coming from the child. What a wonderful message I had today! To understand deeper the importance of private communication with God, to pay full attention in prayer, and to know we have a Father who is always out there listening for us, and ready to help us when we need help. The Christian walk might be a tough one, but it is a most blessed walk. Tough, but you'll never be unprotected as long as you ask. Jesus is always with us, God is good! || posted by Kuan Hui