It's my last day in Thailand, and also the last day of 2014. This year has been one that has been really memorable, in ways good and bad, and looking back I think I would say the experiences that shaped me this year were all the providence of my wonderful God, although there were plenty of decisions that I took which could have been better in retrospect. But I think a post about 2014, for whatever significance a 'year' has, would have to wait until I return to Singapore, although I have already penned down some thoughts that pertain to it. The post about Thailand will have to wait as well, but I am grateful for the chance to travel with my family, as much as part of me might feel I don't deserve it and I should just continue to be productive and do my work and apply for jobs. Rest is godly too!

So yesterday I met up with my P after messaging her that I was in Thailand. Coincidentally she was back in Thailand for her Unilever posting and home with her family, so that was a good chance for me to meet up with someone in a foreign land. We did discuss about what it means for a guy to be gentlemanly with a lady, and I believe I have learnt some fresh perspectives on 'gentlemanly' behaviour, which I would definitely like to apply to my life, even though I still believe strongly the motivations of such behaviour should always stem from sincerity and honesty.

P also introduced to me to her Unilever batch mate Lydia, a Chinese national who studied in Singapore during her university days and went to Philippines for the most part at the start of her Unilever career. She's now in a 9-month stint in Thailand for her final leg of her Unilever career. Interestingly she knows Vance as he internshipped at Unilever Philippines last year. Serendipity is a strange thing, I'm meeting someone random in a rooftop bar in Bangkok, and realising that she is connected to someone else I know back in Singapore, and sharing and laughing over the quirks and traits that our mutual friend possesses. Maybe the world isn't so large at all, maybe our connections are so tightly woven in an intricate web that we are bound to meet someone along the way who knows some mutual friend. Lydia is a pretty interesting person who loves to dive, bake, and has a really refined palate. Over the three hours of chatting, which P had to leave us about one hour into the meeting, I find that we were bouncing off ideas of self-improvement and personal development to each other for the most part. It was great company and the chemistry I would say was pretty good, although arguably not as strong as with Alice. She was also quite attractive and well-spoken.

Having such conversations with people whom I don't know, and making friends with them always proves to be interesting. Meeting Alice, Donovan, Lydia and connecting with them is certainly a really pleasant thing. But when I woke up the next morning thinking a little about Lydia, as I did think about Alice (sorry Donovan, no homo), made me realise of a higher propensity in me to be attracted to certain people really quickly. That got me thinking about attraction and love. How is this different from genuine love that is endearing and lasts a lifetime? As with family, really special friends, and of course your partner. (Love for God is totally different in this respect and I feel that it resides on a higher plane of love which is even harder to develop.) I think it solidified to me that 'love at first sight' is really a misnomer. Physical attraction can only bring you so far, but the bonds that are developed over time, having withstood storms and waves are truly the ones that are the strongest. This endearing love constitutes a conscious decision to commit to better that individual's life, as with the commitment to family, and to special friends, and to God (He doesn't need a better life, this one is slightly different but the commitment is still there). No surprise that those older than me tell me that love is something that develops over time, requires nurturing, requires effort, and it isn't simply 'love at first sight'.

So that concludes a random musing of mine at the close of 2014. I've definitely better clarity of 'love' now after yesterday's meeting with Lydia. Not that I didn't understand the meaning in the first place. But clarity is nice to have and it certainly helps me with my directions in life for sure. So as I conclude this post, I wish for a blessed 2015 year ahead. I ask not that I do not face hardships, but I ask for the strength to endure and come out stronger from them. I ask that at the end of 2015, I would look back and see myself totally different from the start of the year, as 2014 has been for me. God bless the days ahead! :) || posted by Kuan Hui