How much work is too much work?

There were plenty of thoughts I had over the past few days which I wanted to pen down here, but it seems like with the amount of things I had to do, they are all but forgotten now. Nonetheless, the weekend has been both busy and fulfilling to me, and I would really appreciate another day where I can take a break and just forget about all the work responsibilities I have.

Working on Fun Bin as a small team with its members half the time busy with more important form of work does take its toll on the quality of the project, as well as the morale of the members. Although Fun Bin has been something which could be done better, perhaps it is better not to be harsh on myself about it's end-result. It is a huge learning experience to know the limits of my capacity for work in this season, and while being idealistic about the project is good, I think it might be better to be realistic and know me and my friends have done a decent enough job regardless.

Good Friday and Easter weekend has been one of mixed emotions. On one hand, getting up at 4.30 am today and making my way down to Gardens by the Bay, sitting down on a chair in a quiet alcove, amidst the backdrop of MBS, DBS Tower, and the greenery all around me, and listening to the quiet before dawn as the moon sets was a rather unique experience. A tad romantic even, as I shared the church bulletin with Priscilla, sang the hymns together, and had an unspoken funny moment. I confess that I've been feeling rather detached spiritually these few weeks, having lacked the powerful spiritual emotions that would characterise what I appreciate and love Jesus for. Maybe this is God testing me to see if I could maintain the discipline and commitment in my spiritual life despite having some of the more passionate experiences fade away. The choir presentation on Friday could have been better, as I struggled to sing the alto part when the dominant tune on the piano was the soprano one. It was really heartening to see Heather and Bryan attend, even though their parents have already left the church, unfortunate and sad as it is. I think it is really admirable that a girl of 16 can stand up and make such bold decisions to honour God, even though there might be conflict with the parents. What a sad thing though, that two families have left the church due to differences in thinking over administrative matters (not even theological). How petty can things get?

Perhaps the highlight of the weekend was my family and my uncle's family hosting my mum's cousin from Xiamen. This is the first time we've ever hosted someone from overseas, much less someone from the extended family. It was really nice showing them around, and speaking to my mum's cousin's son and girlfriend (what do we call them?) was both something I enjoyed and something I struggled to do. I think it is apparent that my mandarin is rather poor, especially my vocabulary, and I find it really hard to express myself with the limited number of words I am fluent with. Although the girlfriend was saying I spoke rather fluently, I felt the exact opposite (how embarrassing). Perhaps this is motivation to speak better mandarin once again. I think I enjoyed speaking to all of them as well, in particular the son's girlfriend. She was outspoken and we could connect rather well despite the occasional barriers in communication.

And to wrap up, I have been given a rather merciful workload these couple of weeks, partly due to the extension of the deadline of the project I'm working on by two weeks. So I do have quite a larger amount of breathing room to work with now, in the least I do not need to stay past 9. Thank God. But this also means I should re-start my editing work for the church. So there's that, time to pray for all my friends, especially with the troubles they now have, and do my work knowing God is always in control. || posted by Kuan Hui