The humdrum of life; the daily grind, the weekends that zip by so quickly, and quiet times like these that I have for myself. All these are once again starting to make me feel as if I am heading nowhere. I am beginning to feel as if my work isn't adding much value to society, and that it is all about fluffing things up to make things seem pleasant for the target audience. There has been this increasing reticence and weariness to step out of the house and head to work. Perhaps I know that I am not value-adding much to society, or am I just someone who is part of the stereotypical Strawberry Generation?

I think one of my largest fears right now, even as I am seeking other jobs, is that I would feel the same in my new job after a short period of time. Rationalising in my own defence, I did like the slightly more autonomy I got as an intern in GSK, and I did appreciate the engineering concepts that go behind the construction and operation of a production plant. I'd like to say the IT field isn't my cup of tea, as I have found out several years ago, but I cannot confidently say that is the only reason why I do not wish to continue where I am now. It is a dreadful feeling.

The next few days will be testing for me, mainly because I still want to go for prayer meeting on Wednesday, and because I will have a final interview soon. How am I to find time to get out of work to go, knowing the midnights will come hard on me. It is an opportunity to see God's hand in action right?

Feeling better now after this rant. || posted by Kuan Hui