Church camp is over and I have so many things I want to pen down, but at the forefront of my thoughts is the worries of my current job. I have just received things to do for work. As I opened up the work and attempted to do them, a huge sense of dread and discontent washed over me, and is still lingering in me. Right now as my ruminations have led me to conclude that I find almost no value to the work I am doing, no edification to myself, no benefit to those around me. It feels empty and hollow and bereft of good. Honestly, I have never felt like this before. In army, I saw value in my work involving facilities management. During internship, I also saw value in my work relating to operations improvement. For Fun Bin, work was very dry and mundane but I still saw some form of value in it. So why does it feel different this time round? When is the right time to leave?

Psalm 71 is a reminder for me to pray and commit all these worries to God. But nonetheless, I dread going through such a meaningless grind from Monday to Friday. Do I not have enough faith and hope to understand that this personal burden I bear is light because God is with me? How I wish for some form of release from it, immediately if things were possible. || posted by Kuan Hui