Just informed my supervisor I'll be heading to another job and will likely be leaving on 22nd August (I tender next week). It was one of the most surreal experiences I've experienced in recent times. I really do not know what to feel right now, just like what happened when my NS days at MINDEF ended. As much as the environment is toxic, there are flashes of brightness. For one, Timothy has been a very good colleague and buddy at work, and I daresay it would be very hard to find someone else that I can buddy with in other workplaces. The new joiner Shermin has also been a real pleasure to work with. It highlights how I can still find friends whom I can chat with comfortably even in such an environment. Not to mention the both of them are Christians. I'm feeling really bad, especially for Shermin, that I'll be leaving soon and she has to pick up the work. It is my sincere hope that she can handle the workload which is already draining for me, much less someone new.

My new supervisor has also been nice, and possibly the only supervisor whom I'll be content to work under, given the others have not been very good at leading and gaining the respect of those they lead, perhaps due to inexperience.

As I write this post on phone, the tumultuous spectrum of emotions that I am experiencing right now are being released. Cathartic. I'm still lost in my emotions: relief, guilt, disappointment, hopeful. Perhaps this is the ENFP way, huge surges of raw emotions that grate on the most sensitive of nerves, and pondering about the endless possibilities and what-ifs. It almost makes me want to cry, just for that full release, but I shall not, because I am five-minutes away from church, and five minutes away from His grace even though I am such a sinful creature. || posted by Kuan Hui