I've posted pretty recently on what Adrian Rogers said about faith. To paraphrase, faith is believing in God's promises despite circumstances. Yet how hard it is to have that belief. The first week of work in Orica has been distinctly different from Accenture. Too distinct and different perhaps. I'm having long breaks, and people have been asking me how I am adjusting to work, they have been asking me to take it easy and slowly absorb all the new information. Naturally there will be feelings of discomfort in a new place. A new environment to acclimatise to, and as I have put it across to Yi Da earlier, the discomfort is mostly due to the need to understand the characters and personalities of my peers and my superiors. To put it simply, it is understanding them, and that takes time.

Beyond that, the two graduate analysts who joined last year are thinking of leaving. Their reasons are perfectly sound, and between their judgments and mine, I do know that my pay will not likely increase in the years to come. Along with the absence of bonus, save for maybe a week or do additional token sum at the end of the year, it is likely that I will watch my peers in other places scale past me vastly in pay. Having already taken a pay cut to come over, this is certainly a worry, amongst other worries like getting too comfortable in here and losing my drive.

I say all this in the light of my faith and knowledge of God's word.

My fear is there, fear of losing out. It is waging a small rebellion in my heart against my faith. So there it is, my walk with God will always encounter spiritual battles. Nonetheless, it is God who is reminding me that He is there, and that He knows, and that He is in perfect control. He reminds me through Wednesday prayer meeting, through the Book of Ruth, how she displayed that very belief in God's promises, despite having to take care of an aged mother-in-law, trekking 120km through the wilderness from her homeland of Moab to the foreign land of Israel, and then dutifully serving her mother-in-law in labouring to harvest food for them. The easy and logical (in human terms) way out was to return to her comfort home in Moab, where there was no lack of her own kin, or food, and little physical and mental burden. She trusted in the Lord, and He blessed her with even more.

Shall not God do the same to me have I that same faith? He is the same today as He is then, and He will be the same loving God tomorrow and forever. Shall I not remember that I now have a prayer group at work because He has showed me the way? Shall I not remember that my position in Orica is protected by the government through grants, that despite the worsening economic climate, I will be secure? What more proof do I need to believe that He loves and cares for me?

"My son, forget not my law; but let thine heart keep my commandments:
For length of days, and long life, and peace, shall they add to thee.
Let not mercy and truth forsake thee: bind them about thy neck; write them upon the table of thine heart:
So shalt thou find favour and good understanding in the sight of God and man.
Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding.
In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths."

(Proverbs 3:1-6) || posted by Kuan Hui