As I browsed through my folder on Church materials on my desktop, I found an old file that I had, dated 14 December 2014. Opening the file, I saw a one-page essay on an old hymn by John Newton. 1.5 years ago I was searching for my first job, it had been about 6 months since I graduated, and about all my closest friends have gotten a job. The pressure was on me to find one, and find one fast! My friend had just started a job slightly more than a month in, but she shared this hymn with me and asked me if we could both write some thoughts about it (as another friend of ours had written his thoughts on it as well). I agreed, it was a hunger for God's word that made me want to read, write, and find out more. And so I did, and produced this one-pager amidst the time of worry that I had. I shared the piece, and I recall what my friend said, "I asked for your thoughts and you wrote an entire essay?!" Truth be told, I was a little embarrassed over how overboard I went. Perhaps it was a little to show off, certainly not a good intention, but as I recall, it was also comfort for me, and a piece of encouragement to her.

It's been more than 18 months since then, and work has changed us since we first stepped into society then. I had forgotten about this piece I wrote altogether, but opening it brought back into remembrance the importance of sticking close to God. Oh how I wish we were still as enthusiastic about reading and writing about God, despite how much more busy we all are right now. It seems like the world is taking us away, bit by bit from God, how scary. And so I replicate my piece here, hopefully serving as an encouragement to everyone who reads it, maybe her as well. This piece was surely written by the guidance of God, because I have no idea how I was able to write this out today.

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Prayer Answered by Crosses
By John Newton

Sung to the tune of ABENDS


I asked the Lord that I might grow 

In faith and love and every grace, 

Might more of his salvation know, 

And seek more earnestly his face.

‘Twas he who taught me thus to pray; 

And he, I trust, has answered prayer; 

But it has been in such a way 

As almost drove me to despair.

I hoped that, in some favoured hour, 

At once he’d answer my request, 

And by his love’s constraining power 

Subdue my sins, and give me rest.

Instead of this, he made me feel 

The hidden evils of my heart, 

And let the angry powers of hell 

Assault my soul in every part.

Yea, more, with his own hand he seemed
Intent to aggravate my woe, 

Crossed all the fair designs I schemed, 

Blasted my gourds, and laid me low.

Lord, why is this? I trembling cried; 

Wilt thou pursue this worm to death? 

This is the way, the Lord replied
I answer prayer for grace and faith.

These inward trials I now employ 

From self and pride to set thee free,
And break thy schemes of earthly joy, 

That thou may’st seek thy all in me.

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“Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you:” (Matthew 7:7) These are the words of our Lord Jesus on the Sermon on the Mount. Whatever we ask, as long as it is righteous, God will give freely to us. This is His precious promise which is given to us, His dearly beloved children.

To ask for faith, love, and grace, and to want to seek God more earnestly is a beautiful and righteous thing which God has set for us as our primary duty on earth. “But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you.” (Matthew 6:33) This is the order of the world which God has created for us for our benefit and our blessedness. It is trusting Jesus to be our all-sufficiency, as a baby would cling onto his mother for sustenance, protection, and love.

Faith in God is something that grows over time. It is experiential as much as it is imputed. Faith takes time to grow, and it can only grow through tests and trials. In life, there are raging storms and dark days, very much like how the apostles were struggling to keep their boat afloat in the Sea of Galilee in the midst of a huge storm. (Matthew 14:22-23) Like the raging storm which they had to battle for almost four watches, from evening till the break of dawn, our lives are assaulted from every direction by hardships and troubles. Oftentimes, we pray and seek God’s help, hoping that He would grant us respite and relief. Yet instead, we are left to feel as if He has done nothing, or perhaps the situation has worsened. We are apt to feel anger, despair, sorrow, because our mortal eyes cannot see the light at the end of the dark tunnel.

The trials of faith can be long and arduous. Yet nothing happens by chance. Everything that occurs has occurred by the sovereign hand of our Lord. We take solace that God never breaks His promise that He loves us and that He will never give us more than we can handle. His trials are tough, but they build our faith and make us stronger and closer to Him. It gives us perseverance, and builds our character, just like how Peter, who had so little faith in the presence of Jesus, that he started to sink into the waters of Galilee, learnt his lessons, and over time, became so strong in the faith that He was not afraid to be crucified, and even crucified upside down for Jesus.

“Knowing this, that the trying of your faith worketh patience. But let patience have her perfect work, that ye may be perfect and entire, wanting nothing.” (James 1:3-4)

Trials and tribulations may come down hard on us, but we must never forget that they are there to give us a chance to build our faith, so that we can seek God fully, and to grow closer in Him. We know that nothing can separate us from the love of God, we are more than conquerors through Him that loved us. Amen. (Romans 8:37-39)

Yours lovingly in the Lord,
Kuan Hui
|| posted by Kuan Hui