It's been a good two weeks away from the office, two very varied weeks. The first was a work-training trip to Melbourne, and I lived like a king, having a huge hotel room all to myself, free meals to which I could spend rather freely. It was an eye-opening experience to be able to spend and not worry about its consequences. Yet it also showed me the slippery slope that is the lifestyle of the affluent. An easy lifestyle, but perhaps one that loses satisfaction after a while, for only with hard work would the sweet fruits of labour be borne. It was nearly a solo work trip, and definitely my first solo trip overseas. The freedom I got was probably only curtailed by my fatigue and laziness. New vistas were explored nonetheless.

I came back feeling highly jaded and irritable, perhaps it was the fatigue, but I reckon more so, it was due to me observing the good life, that made me want to partake and enjoy it as well. It was the allure of the world, the dazzling sounds and lights of the world that attracted me, attempting to wrestle me away from my Christian walk. This is spiritual warfare no doubt, but I entered church camp feeling tired and lacking the full conviction to serve. Fortunately, the church is always a sanctuary, and wherever the church is, God will be there to sanctify and bring me back to Him.

Church camp was an edifying affair, the pressure to perform was huge, especially given that there were so many seniors in the camp. Many with more than thrice my lifetime of experience, and as if that wasn't a daunting enough experience, the number of participants were more than 1.5 times the previous year. As the camp master, the youngest adult in the whole congregation, it was an exceeding difficult task to ensure that the camp schedules ran smoothly, and leading in the praise and worship doubled unto my stress. Here again I am praying and leading as a young christian with a drop of experience compared to many in the camp. It was no less a highly stressful situation, and mistakes were made and learnt. Imagine the joy I experienced, when I heard encouragements and thanks coming my way, even compliments on how this was the best camp they have ever attended (not directed to me). Many, many of the participants came up to me and thanked me, and frankly I am a person who isn't good with thanks. Most of the time I would be lost as to how I should react to these words of kindness. But all in all, these are still words that encourage and strengthen me, telling me that God is watching, listening, and helping, and He knows. "Let no man despise thy youth" (1 Timothy 4:12) was one of the verses given to me. Be a Timothy. That perhaps, will stick with me, even as I figure out what it means to be obedient to authority, yet to not be a respecter of any man, but to do God's will, even towards people much older than me.

I came back home tired and extremely fatigued, but happy to have served and happy to have the camp run so smoothly, thanks to God. I was out of my comfort zone for much of the camp, feeling the scrutiny and heat of many eyes on me, but God sustained. That evening I slept, dreaming about rushing and fulfilling all the participants' requests during the camp, my mind was still overactive and replaying the events of the past few days, but thank God as the stress is slowly leaving me.

Looking back at the past two weeks, God has been very merciful and I see His mercies poured upon me. In an industry that is doing so badly, I still got to live like a king and enjoy an overseas training trip. I still got a pay raise (albeit a small one) in such times. Yes it could have been better, but it could have been much, much worse in this economy. My life is largely uneventful (and that's a blessing!), I have my uncles and aunts all healthy, my parents healthy, a wonderful roof above my head, no debts, friends. The Lord hath provided, and He hath provided much! In perspective, I am kept from many dangers, from the devil's wiles, and I am blessed with much. Shall I not look upon the source of my blessing and give thanks? This is a perspective I hope to be reminded of daily, that God has provided me with much, and it all comes from Him. Praise God!

I return to work tomorrow, maybe one more day of rest would be good, but some normalcy and routine needs to return to my life, as I get back to the usual things that I am doing, so that my mind can take a break. I was out of the comfort zone for an intense week, time to rest before the next step of my earthly journey. || posted by Kuan Hui